TodayVan Life

My First Vanlife Threesome – Vacay Vans

Solo vanlife has propelled me on a journey of sexual awakening I never could have anticipated. Before living in a van, my concept of my sexuality was confined to the act of “having sex.” I operated under the societally-enforced assumption that, as a woman, my main goal in life was to be desirable to men. Subconsciously I believed that if men found me desirable, I had “value” and was therefore worthy of love.

I never felt ownership over my own sexuality. It was as though my sexiness was a currency to be traded for love and other people were setting the price.

Was I “Hot or Not?”

Before vanlife, I knew nothing about divine feminine energy, yoni massages, breath work, or sacred sexuality. I had no idea that some men cultivated chi by orgasming without ejaculation. I had never been instructed to “breathe in and out of my pussy” during meditation. And I thought a yoni egg was an exotic bird.

But after three years of living outside the box, I’ve been exposed to new worlds. Now, sex is SPIRITUAL. I’ve orgasmed from breath work, hallucinated during sober sex, and eye gazed for hours. I’ve reconnected with my body after removing my breast implants and discovered my inner Sexy Warrior Goddess, a lioness persona I never knew lived within me.

Several events shifted my sexual gears over the years– trying LSD at Burning Man, going to Bali, inner child healing, and dancing with powerful, sexy women at “Confi-Dance” dance classes in Mexico City— but the one that set the stage for all the others was definitely: my first vanlife threesome.

It was one month after my vanlife breakup and I was devastated.

I had never planned to do vanlife solo, and still wasn’t sure if I was brave enough to do it. I was paralyzed with fear in Austin, Texas, afraid to hit the road on my own. So when a vanlife couple invited me to a New Year’s Eve party in the West Texas desert, I thought: why not? I packed up my cowboy hat, fake fur, and my sweet southern-fried friend Courtney, and we hit the road for Marfa, Texas.

My sweet southern-fried friend (not a participant in the threesome)

Marfa is a tucked-away town with a trailer park hotel, a handful of art studios, and a reputation that precedes itself. The eclectic blend of Texas hicksters and Brooklyn hipsters attracts celebrities (I met Leon Bridges there once!) and #MarfaPrada store selfies.

On arrival at this roadside wonderland, we headed over to the El Cosmico parking lot where our new friends were already waiting. We parked our vans side-by-side for a night of clandestine camping. Despite being total strangers, it was an instant party in the parking lot. We had a whirlwind of fun breaking bread together. It was my first taste of that famous “vanlife” experience and I was drinking it in.

When one half of the beautifully unfiltered vanlife couple propositioned me the next day, it took me a hot minute to catch on. “You and Courtney are welcome to join us…later.” Wink, wink…

I ran back to the van and flung open the door: “They want to have SEX… with US!”

“Us?” Courtney was aghast. 

There we stood in the ice-cold van, our innocent brains trying to wrap around this scandalous situation. It was only 20 degrees that weekend in the harsh West Texas winter, and Freebird the van had no heat.

I had never been in a threesome before, but it always felt like a sexual “rite of passage” I was destined to face at some point. 

Courtney passed on the invitation, but for me, it felt like divine timing. I was single and heartbroken. My ex-boyfriend had already replaced me for a newer model and I was trying desperately not to think about it. So I decided to take the leap.

When a threesome opportunity comes a knockin,’ you better grab it by its genitals.

The big New Year’s party was that night and I was ready. I dressed as sexy as possible for a 20 degree night in the desert and fueled my nervous unicorn newbie energy with a bottle of champagne. 

The night was fun, but something was off. The couple was nice and chill, but they weren’t flirting with me at all. I was anticipating some soft-core porn seduction…a gentle touch under the table, a sneaky wink. But, I got nothing! I wasn’t being buttered up for any French-sounding adventure. We chatted, we drank, and at the end of the night we went back to our respective vans. 

I was riled up, pacing back and forth in the van while drunk Courtney huddled under the blankets, eating chips.

“They didn’t even hit on me! What the hell? This is vanlife! I can’t start my entire year off like this!”

Just then, my phone buzzed. Two simple words appeared on the screen: Join us. 

Terror struck,”“They texted! Oh my god, what do I do??”

“Just go over there and be chill. Things will happen naturally.” Courtney reasoned.

“Nothing happened naturally all night! It’s going to be awkward as hell if I go over there without a plan. I NEED A PLAN.” It was so cold you could see my breath.

“I got it! I’m gonna go to their van and immediately start making out with her. I can’t hit on him because that’s so weird, so I gotta make it happen through her.” 

And so I did. I barged into their van like a make-out freight train. I jumped on top of her, started kissing, and didn’t stop.

Vanlife Pro Tip: When measuring out the dimensions of your camper van bed, it’s important to allow sufficient clearance for the person or persons who will be sleeping in the bed. I recommend measuring yourselves in your preferred…positions… to ensure there’s adequate space for extracurricular activities. 

And, if you occasionally share your bed with guests, like a dog, or a very drunk unicorn, I recommend allowing ample space for everyone to maneuver themselves smoothly, in order to avoid any head banging or awkward readjustments between the parties involved.

So this is vanlife, huh?

While the details are hazy, the pride in a job well done will forever linger. 

Squished between two hot bodies, a space heater blasting my face, I was about to doze off when I felt a nudge, “Hey, that was great. Here are your pants.”

Unable to properly navigate dressing myself in my current state, I blindly collected my things and ran half naked back to Freebird. 

The four of us awoke the next morning in the El Cosmico parking lot, a trail of frozen unicorn clothes sprawled between our two vans. We said cheers to strong coffee, good times, and the fresh year ahead. 

Comfort zone: obliterated.

At the time, this was truly one of my most “scandalous” stories. I felt so ALIVE experiencing something that was so taboo and outside my comfort zone. But after years of vanlife and a collection of stories like the above, I realize how much I’ve grown in such a short amount of time. I’ve learned so much about intimacy and connection.

The act of sex with another person isn’t what tranforms you, it’s your relationship with yourself that elevates sex to the cosmic level. It’s the inward journey that really shakes the core of the earth. 

And for me, that journey is just getting started…




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